Snail Shooting - A Sportsman Replies

[Mr D]

I note that there is an inter-net conversation on this Board debating the best way to exterminate Snails using small arms. I am shocked to see this sort of thing discussed by British citizens, not only because of its inherently cruel and Unsporting nature, but because of the wasteful attitude it reveals. Ever since Elspeth and I set up house together, we have taken care not to waste any food scraps, edible vegetation from our garden or other morsels of Nature's Bounty, but have put all to good use. The means by which this has been achieved is through the agency of that dearly beloved animal, the Pig. Each Spring we purchase the runt of a litter and feed it upon our leftovers, and also any pickings from the hedgerows. The pigs we have found to be Enormously Fond of Snails and Slugs, so simply shooting them is waste, pure and simple. Our young lad would do well to put down his pistol and fill a pail with the crunchy molluscs for a hungry pig. In November the pig can be transformed into Hams and Flitches of Bacon which may last for many months.

So, Brave Sirs, would you rather have the mean pleasure of killing a slow and defenceless invertebrate or would you rather enjoy a bacon sandwich or hot gammon? Well, Sirs, WHICH IS IT TO BE?

(People living in council 'estates' can club together and rent a 'lock-up' which may be converted to a makeshift dwelling for a porker, so this ancient tradition really is Available to All, rich and poor alike.)

[Snooper601]

I note that there is an inter-net conversation on this Board debating the best way to exterminate Snails using small arms. I am shocked to see this sort of thing discussed by British citizens, not only because of its inherently cruel and Unsporting nature, but because of the wasteful attitude it reveals. Ever since Elspeth and I set up house together, we have taken care not to waste any food scraps, edible vegetation from our garden or other morsels of Nature's Bounty, but have put all to good use. The means by which this has been achieved is through the agency of that dearly beloved animal, the Pig. Each Spring we purchase the runt of a litter and feed it upon our leftovers, and also any pickings from the hedgerows. The pigs we have found to be Enormously Fond of Snails and Slugs, so simply shooting them is waste, pure and simple. Our young lad would do well to put down his pistol and fill a pail with the crunchy molluscs for a hungry pig. In November the pig can be transformed into Hams and Flitches of Bacon which may last for many months.

So, Brave Sirs, would you rather have the mean pleasure of killing a slow and defenceless invertebrate or would you rather enjoy a bacon sandwich or hot gammon? Well, Sirs, WHICH IS IT TO BE?

(People living in council 'estates' can club together and rent a 'lock-up' which may be converted to a makeshift dwelling for a porker, so this ancient tradition really is Available to All, rich and poor alike.)

Dear Sir,

How do you propose to humanely despatch the porker when the time is right?

Cheers

[bunnybasher]

it would be madness to shoot a snail with anything less then HMR due to the ricochet hazard......surely everone knows this

[Mad Mark]

Dear Sir,

How do you propose to humanely despatch the porker when the time is right?

Cheers

12 FOOT POUNDS DO IT

[Snooper601]

12 FOOT POUNDS DO IT

If you drop a sharp 1lb pointy thing onto the porkers head from 12 feet then YES!

Cheers

A friend and I did an experiment with a 12bore and a golf ball once, point blank and it survived unmarked

[Mr D]

Dear Sir,

How do you propose to humanely despatch the porker when the time is right?

Cheers

Your local council or MAFF official can give you a list of men with the appropriate credentials and equipment to despatch your pig. The local chiropodist has this task within her portfolio, and covers most of the east Neuk of Fife for domestic pigs. (Top tip; straw is excellent for singeing the carcass).

[Snooper601]

Hmmm, one thinks this is too public for a 'Private Function'.

Cheers

[ChrisC]

Hmmm, one thinks this is too public for a 'Private Function'.

Cheers

Bloody good film...." joyce, i can smell a smell"

[wgmorgan]

Right, who's kidnapped the real Mr D?

[ross H]

Your local council or MAFF official can give you a list of men with the appropriate credentials and equipment to despatch your pig. The local chiropodist has this task within her portfolio, and covers most of the east Neuk of Fife for domestic pigs. (Top tip; straw is excellent for singeing the carcass).

i might have got this wrong but its ok for someone else to kill an animal for you but people are wrong if they kill there own animal.

[Mr D]

i might have got this wrong but its ok for someone else to kill an animal for you but people are wrong if they kill there own animal.

Only a person licensed by Her Majestie's Government may truncate the life of a pig. I have no qualms about culling rabbits, pigeons etc with my BSA Airsporter at ranges where my skill ensures an quick end to the creature.

[ross H]

Only a person licensed by Her Majestie's Government may truncate the life of a pig. I have no qualms about culling rabbits, pigeons etc with my BSA Airsporter at ranges where my skill ensures an quick end to the creature.

so if there are no quarms about dispatching rabbit ect were is the problem, i wouldnt have taken the snails thing to heart mate, you seem like a bit of a serious chap

[Lash13]

Wasn't the snail shooting post just a laugh kin hell what is going on this pc cr.p is driveing me mad .cheers marcus

Yes, I thought I was joking

[Troubledshooter]

Wasn't the snail shooting post just a laugh kin hell what is going on this pc cr.p is driveing me mad .cheers marcus

What do you think this thread is ?

[robinghewitt]

Only a person licensed by Her Majestie's Government may truncate the life of a pig.

Would it be legal to remove a leg without dispatching the porker, just to see if it's ready for harvesting? You could numb the limb first using acupuncture.