Well I'm pretty much a newbie here myself so am prepared to get flamed here but, like it or not, the established protocol on the net (largely because of a well known auction site) is you pays your money and then your goods get sent.

If you aren't happy with that then really you have to ask yourself if it is worth a bit of petrol and a day to meet up if it is a hard to get or valuable item.

The other avenue of course is to arrange a paypal payment so you can make a claim if it goes pear-shaped.

It is a difficult situation though.