The farmer who looks after my shoot cornered the landowner's wife today and told her I was not running an Al-Qaeda training camp in her garden. Apparently my camouflage was a big factor in why she'd been spooked by me. He gave her the line I'd given him: namely that the residents - including her brother-in-law had specifically asked me to shoot the squirrels in their gardens - making a nonsense of her argument that I was told not to shoot near the houses.

He also told her about the damage the rabbits were causing to the crops. She had no idea they caused any damage and thought people shot them just for a sadistic wheeze.

The upshot is that I will continue to control the vermin on this farm but I will be giving her house a wide berth and certainly not checking my zero within her earshot again. The farmer also said that I should "let sleeping dogs lie" and no longer phone her to say I've arrived. I shall continue to inform the other (sane) residents.

I want to give a big thanks to the people who gave me words of advice and support over this mini-crisis: Shaggy_Pack, Baz, Keef, gaz gun man and even that deadbeat Gary.

Lionel