Please be aware that failure to restrain from carrying out "noisy" bodily functions when at the firing line with your gun can, and probably will, result in a visit from the Bottom Inspectors.

They have no interest whatsoever in what type of gun you happen to be using, how powerful it is or where and when it was manufactured. These "gas soldiers" will install both decibel meters and gas detectors to ensure that other shooters do not pull shots due to the sudden, loud, and lets face it usually stinky gas emissions from any offending shooter. Offenders in the first instance are issued with a yellow card. Those ignoring the B.I requirements for a second time during the shooting event are finally issued with, yes, you've guessed it, a brown card.

At our own club, our local resident vegetarian has been known to pass wind at considerable velocity. It is for precisely these reasons that the "Bottom Inspectors" have been asked to investigate further this and other incidents in the North West region recently. Any habitual offenders will be asked to insert a cork into the offending orifice, and will feature in the B.Ps monthly "bottom shots" that is circulated to local airgun clubs and in the not too distant future the BBC "bottom watch" programme.

You have been warned!

Andy