Bargain of a lifetime?

[SRV1]

Don’t jump the gun; there is more to this story….

….she said that there are other means of payment, a kind of personal payment. I told her that I didn’t have a Bitcoin account, but, I could readily use a Paypal Gift transaction? My head was still swimming with those boxed Webley Service air rifles, let alone the many desirables that I would like to get my hands on. She seemed to be getting a bit angry at my coy naivety and ordered me to sit down by the now, what seemed very hot, log fire. Look, she said, if you want any of those desirables, you need to come up with the goods. You look like you have been around the block a few times she snapped, you know the score. I know you want to get your hands on them, I have seen that glazed look before in men.

After several glasses of wine, I didn’t know if my head was spinning with the effect of alcohol, or, those beautiful guns. I seemed to be slipping into a hazy, delirious mist of stupor, but, she was most attractive, especially when she spoke in a mildly aggressive manner. She must be younger than her late husband I thought, judging by his photograph on a nearby mahogany display cabinet holding what appeared a weapon of some significance. I would say she was middle to late forties. It seemed reminiscent of the most pleasing and eventful times I spent in Russia in similar situations, but, unfortunately those conversations never seemed to revolve around air rifles.

With the room getting hotter and another bottle of wine, I had to remove my Jack Pike, and I had a gut feeling where this was leading…..I’m an atheist and three hail Mary’s are not going to cleanse any potential dirty, unfaithful deed from my conscience, but, if I get my hands on those beauties, I can block out any misdeeds that may haunt me later.

I was starting to loose it, I’m hot, she’s hot, the room is revolving, I’m dribbling and need to put my half empty glass of Semillon down somewhere, where?…..Why am I here? It’s getting all confusing…..the mint and boxed air rifles, the collection, what the…..

She suggested we retire to the bedroom to seal the deal, you know you want to, she whispered….. To regain an ounce of composure, I suggested that I need to sniff the box and feel the contours of the MK1. I knew the distinct smell of old oil, the feel of the unblemished butt and solid engineering would sober me up some? ……

Awkwardly, and with some difficulty…………..

[Unframed Dave]

"if I get my hands on those beauties"

" I need to sniff the box "

"a weapon of some significance"

"the unblemished butt"

Not to mention the very hot log.

What is this, fifty shades of deep polished blue?

Dave

[SRV1]

"if I get my hands on those beauties"

" I need to sniff the box "

"a weapon of some significance"

"the unblemished butt"

Not to mention the very hot log.

What is this, fifty shades of deep polished blue?

Dave

It will all become clear in the end....It will be of significance to those of us inflicted with the incurable collecting syndrome, called GAS.

I will have a Semillon now and pluck up the courage to continue later......

[Airsporterman]

"if I get my hands on those beauties"

" I need to sniff the box "

"a weapon of some significance"

"the unblemished butt"

Not to mention the very hot log.

What is this, fifty shades of deep polished blue?

Dave

Ooh err Mrs! It will be a best seller!

Airsporterman

[isobar]

"if I get my hands on those beauties"

" I need to sniff the box "

"a weapon of some significance"

"the unblemished butt"

Not to mention the very hot log.

What is this, fifty shades of deep polished blue?

Dave

with a smidge of Edgar allan poe if i know where this is leading

[walnutfarmmick]

with a smidge of Edgar allan poe if i know where this is leading

Edgar Allan Poe ( a haiku)

His works instill both
fear and awe. His soul shall be
lifted. Nevermore!


I see no ravens, though maybe a cougar, Mick

[SRV1]

……..I rose out of the comfortable leather Chesterfield, slightly dizzy, I felt her hot breath on my neck as she steadied me, my knees trembling, my mind racing away with anticipated climax of the deal that was about to be entered into. On our dizzy way through the lounge, almost knocking over a beautiful and exquisite Tiffany table lamp, my eyes were drawn to a carved oak bookcase with a mint, enlarged third addition of ‘The Collectors Guide to Air Rifles’ by Hiller. Sloppily, with limp arm, I reached out to thumb through it….Not now darling, she said pressing her succulent lips to my ear, we haven’t got time….

As we stumbled through the hallway, her high heels click clacking on the grey and cold flagstone floor, I was acutely aware of something going “boing”. To my satisfactory relief, it was the quarter chime of a fine Thomas Tompion - not unlike the sound of the spring releasing from an old BSF S60 I once stripped without a spring compressor. I steadied myself against a large and overloaded gothic looking clothes hallstand. If it was not for my delirious state of mind, I am sure it moved and groaned.

The grand, red carpeted staircase went on forever, and effort to get to the top is going to be a challenge in my current state of affair. Our lips met, we kissed gently and she took my hand to climb the stairway to heaven. Leading the way in her widow’s black satin, very short and low cut dress, revealing ample assets, the challenge of the ascent went unnoticed, apart from two things that hung on the wall of the staircase; a framed print of a December 1983 Airgun World pull-out of a Master Chameleon, and the framed print of an enlarged Chambers BSA Airsporter S parts diagram, similar to the ones I had seen on eBay…..

Her well manicured, almost fragile hand, gripped the knob of a large dark oak door. As it eerily creaked open, it revealed an enormous, but an unusual themed and curiously decorated bedroom. Hanging on a Victorian coat stand was a black divers suit, surely we were not going diving; the sea is 6 miles away and I didn’t notice a swimming pool on entering the grand house. Maybe the bathroom is huge….

The large and elegant four poster bed seemed an inviting, most appealing, erotic and very satisfactory way of sealing the acquisition of a bargain of a lifetime. I had never witnessed such desirable weapons ever and they would be mine, all mine……

With a sensuous smile, she sat on the bed, patted the silk sheet beckoning me to join her. Smiling, in a kind of drunken anticipation, I started to approach her…..

[davymole]

and then ,dont stop its like a bedtime story your parents might of read to you ,get to the good stuff and would say off to sleep.fxxk sleep what happened next

[Nickos]

Have you managed to cock anything yet?

[Airsporterman]

Just goes to prove - there's a Jilly Cooper in all of us waiting to be unleashed! or should that be leashed?

Airsporterman

[Gareth W-B]

Just goes to prove - there's a Jilly Cooper in all of us waiting to be unleashed! or should that be leashed?

Airsporterman

Very good.

[SRV1]

Very good.

I never knew she collected weapons.....

[Gunman61]

What a good read ,you want to write a novel .

[Rickenbacker]

What a good read ,you want to write a novel .

Or at least a dirty pamphlet!

[Binners]

Very good.

What would you know about being an author