Bargain of a lifetime?

[SRV1]

…….Mockingly, he scoffed; is that a super tuned Ddraig Goch loaded Welsh Willy you got under there? You bet, I replied. Ha, ha, ha, he laughed in a childish and demented way……Don’t laugh, I snapped, Fatman will vouch for this Welsh Wizard’s quality work. Fatman has had much work done by Willy and, not only that, he has sampled delicious chocolate cupcakes by Welsh Willy’s wife in the luxury of the VIP lounge. Running out of ideas, conversation was clearly not working to calm the situation…….I grabbed the only solid object I could lay my hands on – the orange can of Neatsfoot Oil……

With all my might, I threw it at him, he ducked, and the can smashed into the large Georgian mirror behind him, shattering it with great force. Getting angrier, he approached the foot of the four-poster clicking madly away on his camera to get more shots. In an instant, he suddenly disappeared out of sight shouting and screaming, camera flying through the air towards me. I caught the camera and swiftly legged it out of bedroom, only pausing momentarily to look back and blow a kiss to my goddess, whom I still had desires for. To my surprise, and good fortune, he had fallen over the disorderly pile of Airgun World magazines that I had retrieved from under the bed. I was unable to put them back in year/month order, tucking them neatly back under the four-poster due to being impatiently, and rudely, dragged to bed earlier by the most beautiful woman I had ever encountered.

Legging it down the grand, red carpeted staircase three steps a time, clutching the camera tightly, reaching the hallway, and not even feeling the cold grey flagstone floor on my feet…… At great speed, I turned through the doorway to the study, slipping on a Persian rug covering part of the polished herring bone pattern oak floor, I went crashing into the table with the exquisite Tiffany lamp sending it flying through the air. I too, was also flying through the air towards that hot log fire, letting go of the camera to grab anything preventing my progress to the burning hell…….My handcuff, luckily, got caught up on a hook, presumably to hang a pot or pan on, the camera flew into the log fire and my buttocks came into contact with the hot cast iron griddle as I span around, I felt no pain. I unhooked the handcuff to free myself, I looked a mess – I was covered in black smudges from the soot of the fire surround….. In a controlled panic, I grabbed my Jack Pike, now scorched after leaving it near the log fire on the arm of the Chesterfield…... I grabbed my car-keys that I had left on top of the cabinet containing the collection of boxed mint Webley Pistols. I headed for the exit realising I had nothing to wear apart from a scorched Jack Pike, the torn shirt sleeve and the handcuff, not even my shoes…Hell, I was not going back to the bedroom to retrieve them. Then, I had a thought, why should I leave with less than I had arrived? I ran back to the cabinet containing the boxed Webley’s, in no time to think, I just grabbed a box…….

[Chippendale]

I think we ought to be reading this to the music of Charles Williams 'The Devils Gallop'

Does anybody know how to down load it?

Chippendale (with clothes on)

[Airsporterman]

, I just grabbed a box…….

ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Airsporterman

[Airsporterman]

I think we ought to be reading this to the music of Charles Williams 'The Devils Gallop'

Does anybody know how to down load it?

Chippendale (with clothes on)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN0AJzb8ht0

Airsporterman

[Chippendale]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN0AJzb8ht0

Airsporterman

Nice one Airsporter man, I new the music but don't know how to put it on here. It takes me back many many years to around 6.15 pm each evening.

Chippendale (with clothes on)

[walnutfarmmick]

Nice one Airsporter man, I new the music but don't know how to put it on here. It takes me back many many years to around 6.15 pm each evening.

Chippendale (with clothes on)

When I was 3 or 4 it signalled my bedtime. I always wondered what was so good about Dick Barton, Special Agent!

ATB, Mick

[Chippendale]

When I was 3 or 4 it signalled my bedtime. I always wondered what was so good about Dick Barton, Special Agent!

ATB, Mick

Yes Mick, I always listened to it Dick, Snowy and Jock as I recall, Special agents saving Britain from all those foreign spies.

How are you keeping my friend?

Mel

[Airsporterman]

Nice one Airsporter man, I new the music but don't know how to put it on here. It takes me back many many years to around 6.15 pm each evening.

Chippendale (with clothes on)

No problems mate - I am a complete computer dunce when it comes to clever stuff but I know how to do that!

Airsporterman

[walnutfarmmick]

How are you keeping my friend?

Mel[/QUOTE]

Still wondering if it's a disease that makes ebony black.

Did you get time to look in your old books yet?

ATVB, Mick

[Chippendale]

How are you keeping my friend?

Mel

Still wondering if it's a disease that makes ebony black.

Did you get time to look in your old books yet?

ATVB, Mick[/QUOTE]
Nope, sorry completely forgot, probably the aura of the fair. Will do it to-day without fail.

ATB

Mel

[goulss]

How are you keeping my friend?

Mel

Still wondering if it's a disease that makes ebony black.

Did you get time to look in your old books yet?

ATVB, Mick[/QUOTE]

Hi Mick,

not hijacking your post but does this help?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebony

[uason-m]

with an ominous grunt wilf raised the meatcleaver high and,like that comicbook hero janus stark, i deftly slipped the handcuffs and serpentine,for all the world as if coted with basbyouin (indeed it wsas the case she being a big fan of the fragrant lubricant ) -as the massive axe gcrashed toward my forehead i grabbed the stock of a dismantled milbro "perfecta" G76 and it took the intended deathblow,of course destroying any collector value." "A t least let me have a last smoke .wilf " !;-"shall we go down to the study,away from tjhid s terrible scene of cuckoldry"-wilf's stormy expression dissolcved at this and grabbing hurriedly taking a foxes brush off the dresser to cover my modesty (for i had been laid entirely buff) we went downstairs leaving the widow wimmin sobbing unconsolABLY;-in the study wilf went to the humidor,itself constructed from cut-down panels from a milbro displaystand and selected two vcuban monsters-of cousrese we took our light rfreom the "highest possible" and relaxation then settled like a rich mantle upon savagery of the animal- type;-sensing his guard was dropping i ejacullated "your westley richards lighter-being stupid enought to have it mangled by the village blacksnmiyth has ruined collector value and i suggest the sum of one guinea to take it off yr hands";""oh ...i guess so then-now excuse me i must make a visit tio the smalles6t room for i've been baking one for about three days";scooping up sas many bosxed examples as poss and with the other hand keeping the foxbrush positione d i made my escape !

[Chippendale]

Still wondering if it's a disease that makes ebony black.

Did you get time to look in your old books yet?

ATVB, Mick

Hi Mick,

not hijacking your post but does this help?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebony[/QUOTE]


No, thanks was going to tell Mick to google this as I have just done and come up with this page.

Cheers

Chippendale (with clothes on)

[SRV1]

…..any mint Webley pistol was going to do, awkwardly stuffing it into a large poacher’s pocket of the Jack Pike jacket. Running breathlessly out of the outer porch, clutching the Jack Pike, I felt a searing pain in my feet as I hit the gravel in the driveway. I was acutely aware of various footwear in the dark porch as I passed through, I turned sharply and helped myself to a pair of wellington boots, they were very tight and pinched my toes, but, I’m not complaining, I need to get out of this place as fast as I can…..The temptation of going back into the study to grab one of those mint and boxed Airsporter MK 1’s was too much, I had to have one at any cost…..! Tucking it under my arm, along with the Jack Pike, I raced to my car, putting my prize on the roof of the car whilst I fumbled with the car keys. Opening the driver’s door, I threw the Jack Pike across to the passenger seat. Panicking getting the key into the ignition, the reliable Honda started first time, tyres spinning, throwing a cloud of gravel behind, I was on my way……With some composure now setting in, I was able to think about this elaborate scam as I journeyed away from what might have been a pleasurable and rewarding experience….I had read various scam warnings, even “stickies” on the Gloucestershire mafia, distance selling, destruction of our treasured possessions by Royal Mail, but, nothing had prepared me for this…..I was so happy, yes, yes, yes, I had survived, the boxed mint Webley and Airsporter Mk1 more than made up for my “lost” clothes. He, he, he; I had come out of it rather well. Whistling a happy tune as I drove up Templeton hill, I was suddenly aware of a scrapping noise, looking in the mirror, and to my horror, the Airsporter Mk1 in its box was tumbling down the hill. I made a emergency stop, got out of the car and ran down the hill to retrieve my treasured possession…..Too late, the 20 ton milk tanker had already passed over it. I was shattered, the three piece stock was now a six piece and the barrel droop was ninety degrees. At least, I comforted myself; the open sights are undamaged and will fetch a good price on , as the Chinese are buying any open sights as investments…..

I turned into the home driveway exhausted and head spinning by such a momentous experience, I had some difficult explaining to do…..

My partner was standing impatiently at the door. Mmmm…, I though she had gone to the Laura Ashley up to 70% sale for the day? I got out of the Honda a stood sheepishly to gain some sympathy whilst desperately trying to think up a convincing story as I stood there nearly naked. Where the hell have you been, I thought you were going to view a couple of air rifles?? Your clothes, where are your clothes? Your ripped shirt sleeve? The hand cuff? The black marks on your body? Your buttocks look sore and very inflamed!.....Hold on, hold on I replied, I can explain all. I took a deep breath…..Yes, I went to view those air rifles, but, being a gentleman, I really could not take advantage of the poor widow……Hell, she had only lost her husband a few months ago, I really didn’t have the heart to take advantage of her…..And, remember that secret society I told you about, the one I really wanted to join?…..Yes, she said, the AirgunnBBs Forum you mean?….Yes, that’s the one, I hesitantly replied…taking another deep breath, I explained that I “bottled it” during the initiation ceremony and ran out as fast as I could ….I just couldn’t go through with it. Aw, you poor thing, those nasty people at AigunBBs even made you wear pink Wellingtons on the wrong feet, how cruel! I’m so proud of you, let’s get you cleaned up and have a nice cup of tea…..

I could not bring myself to tell her about the mint and boxed Webley pistol I stole, but, tomorrow, I would secretly open the box in the garage……

(Be patient nearly there now)

[SRV1]

Sorry all, due to my excited typing, when I re-read after posting, I omitted the word ! - Should be read as:.......fetch a good price on , as the Chinese are buying any open sights as investments…..

Sorry about that - I cocked up the edit facility too!

Best regards to all...