Apologies if this is in the wrong section, Mick/Mods. I just wanted all who’ve messaged me to see this explanation as there are some very caring lads on here who’ve messaged me pretty much daily for news, so I wanted to update all at once as I’ve been off my feet for a fortnight and havent had opportunity to properly reply to many.
I also need to write this out, pretty much to get it straight in my own head.
My father in law, John, had an accident at work on Thursday 14th June. He was air ambulanced to the QE, Birmingham, where he was certified as having huge brain/head/facial injuries, massive brain bleed, fractured skull, a spinal injury and a broken neck in two places. He was placed in an induced coma and kept on the critical unit under the eye of the most respected brain professor in the U.K.
During the past two weeks, we’ve been to and from the QE each day, holding onto hope that he’ll show any sign of pulling through.
We were told last week that sedation was being withdrawn, and he’d resuscitate in 48+ hours. Multiple MRI scans have since shown little to no brain activity, and after waiting more than double the time that it usually takes the brain/body to revive itself, there was still no sign of life. We were told to prepare ourselves for the worst.
We accepted this devastation and visited his house, cleared up accounts, bills, certificates etc and partially accepted what was going to happen.
Another MRI was ordered, pretty much to assess/confirm the surgeons/professors diagnosis was correct, and that this was a ‘hopeless case’. This MRI showed limited brain activity. So another MRI was called to assess whether those signals going from the brain were travelling back down the spinal cord.
We were told not to get our hopes up, but seeing that John’s heart was strong and there was indeed, limited brain activity, that we should prepare ourselves for perhaps a marathon and not a sprint.
This MRI was booked for this morning.
We visited him this morning, his eyes were fully open, tracking movement and differentiating from one person to another when he heard sound/talking (we’ve been talking more to him from day one). A godsend. We were absolutely over the moon, relived, thankful, delirious etc etc for just this small sign of improvement being evident.
Then the MRI results came back to show John would be paralysed from the neck down, forever.
Never have I gone from such a high to such a low in such a short space of time. My Mrs is totally shellshocked and I’m just numb.
This man is a master builder, ex-boxer, hyperactive, hugely generous, caring, doting, humorous type, who was also my shotgunning partner and the nearest figure I’ve ever had to a father. We all know for a fact he won’t want to live this way.
We’re now being told he’ll be taken off the breathing apparatus/life support and a tracheotomy fitted, to ease his level of comfort, and allow him to speak (perhaps, if he has the mental capacity, in due course).
If he does speak, and asks to be taken off life support (as we know he would want), then the powers that be will allow their care to be withdrawn. Problem there being, he’s getting stronger (metaphorically speaking) each day and will soon be non reliant on life support. When he’s no longer reliant, he’ll obviously no longer have the option to be removed from life support.
Even though as family, we’ve had to carefully document his wishes to resuscitate or not due to condition, from day one, we now have to wait until a tracheotomy is fitted, just so he can inform the powers that be in his own words, of his wishes.
If they ‘declare/see’ he’s making ‘progress’, then his wishes, along with ours, will be overturned.

So that, in a nutshell, is the story I’ve been trying to tell for a fortnight.

I’ve read that thorough a dozen times before posting and it doesn’t sink in but I hope it explains to both Sarah’s mates and my own on here just what we’re caring for at the moment.

I’ll be back ASAP to update but thank you all so much for your messages of support, they’ve gone to do more than you’ll realise and are deeply appreciated.
Love your loved ones - Craig and Sarah x