<In a northern accent> What a bunch of lucky, lucky, lucky swines you lot are. In my day, we had to walk for miles just to stand outside a school and watch the lucky kids go in and learn.

Cardboard? What we would have given for cardboard (not that we had anything to give. Even our kidneys are made out of compacted fag ash (found on the pavements) because we traded our real kidneys for coal dust to burn to keep warm (we had to rub the coal dust particles together to create heat as we didn't have any sticks to rub together)).

I'm so hard up I have to work for a living just so I can afford to work to earn money to pay taxes. Now that's poor.



See y'all tomorrow.