Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 18

Thread: Thick Leather off-cut for sale -- (spoof advert FFS!:D)

  1. 19-01-2018, 08:18 AM #1
    DCL_dave's Avatar
    DCL_dave
    DCL_dave is offline I Like Gingers Best
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    weymouth
    Posts
    2,994

    Thick Leather off-cut for sale -- (spoof advert FFS!:D)

    I'm hot for and me sales patter is flowing so...

    For sale...Gentlemen (and discerning ladies) I present to you a crafty opportunity with this new and improved "state of the arts" piece of 1/4" thick leather blank that has had a load of holes punched through it to make breech seals...but this off cut still has a multitude of potential uses...

    http://imageupload.co.uk/image/E1oR

    Wrist thing for drummery?...
    Arm brace for archery?...
    Arse paddle for paddling arses!
    War gusset for christ knows what!
    Cannon viewer - view everything as if it were part of the opening credits to 70's tv cop Cannon.

    Here are some testimonies received from happy customers!

    I made an arm brace protector for use in my hobby which is archery as I much prefer a heavier unventillated arse paddle.
    Mr P.I. Lowbiter, Hastings

    ...to test the theory that it would work well as an arse paddle, I snuck up on the missus and cracked her a good'un across the right arse cheek...she wheeled around and punched me square in the face!...I think our safe word is "do that again and I'll knock your effin lights out"
    Mr R Ingbit, Hull.

    I rivetted wings to mine to make for a stylish, ventilated and yet still discreetly armoured war gusset!
    Miss B.A.Talax, Grimbsy.

    I'm the drummer in a heavy metal band and so made cool wrist bands to drum with..I now look well-effin-hard...but seeing some of the comments makes me wish I made an arse paddle!...meh, thanks anyway man.
    S.Lacker, Dorset. - (this gentleman was a repeat customer)

    I'm forgetful...so I simply attach mine to my forehead with double sided tape when I want to remind myself that that great 70's cop show Cannon is about to start on the telly.
    Mr P Roper-Berk,
    blah blah
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. 19-01-2018, 08:57 AM #2
    D10bore
    D10bore is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Ormskirk
    Posts
    194
    So funny
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. 19-01-2018, 09:10 AM #3
    WILBA's Avatar
    WILBA
    WILBA is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Swansea
    Posts
    5,114
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. 19-01-2018, 12:14 PM #4
    DCL_dave's Avatar
    DCL_dave
    DCL_dave is offline I Like Gingers Best
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    weymouth
    Posts
    2,994
    The item has sold by PM...thank you.
    blah blah
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. 19-01-2018, 12:18 PM #5
    Binners's Avatar
    Binners
    Binners is offline Surrey's Anglo Saxon
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Surrey
    Posts
    8,689
    I could have used that, but the holes were too big
    See you 8th December

    http://kemptonclassicarmsfair.co.uk/
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. 19-01-2018, 12:29 PM #6
    Garvin's Avatar
    Garvin
    Garvin is offline Award-winning Airgun Anorak
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    City of London
    Posts
    9,896
    Brilliant, Dave.

    Loads of breach seals left in that.
    Vintage Airguns Gallery
    ..Above link posted with permission from Gareth W-B
    In British slang an anorak is a person who has a very strong interest in niche subjects.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. 19-01-2018, 12:33 PM #7
    DCL_dave's Avatar
    DCL_dave
    DCL_dave is offline I Like Gingers Best
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    weymouth
    Posts
    2,994
    I am not at liberty to divulge the new owner or the purpose for which he bought it...All I can allude to is simple text message that went like this...

    Binners - "that looks interesting so I'll have it please...how did you make it?"

    Me - "It's yours then mate...and it is just a by-product I cut a load of 1/2" breech seals from a thick piece of leather and this is whats left...what do you want it for? "

    Binners - "once more onto the breech, dear friend "


    blah blah
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. 19-01-2018, 02:54 PM #8
    Binners's Avatar
    Binners
    Binners is offline Surrey's Anglo Saxon
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Surrey
    Posts
    8,689
    Quote Originally Posted by DCL_dave View Post
    I am not at liberty to divulge the new owner or the purpose for which he bought it...All I can allude to is simple text message that went like this...

    Binners - "that looks interesting so I'll have it please...how did you make it?"

    Me - "It's yours then mate...and it is just a by-product I cut a load of 1/2" breech seals from a thick piece of leather and this is whats left...what do you want it for? "

    Binners - "once more onto the breech, dear friend "



    Ah, only 1/2'' holes eh, OK I'll take it but, I will need a squirt of Neatsfoot as a lube
    See you 8th December

    http://kemptonclassicarmsfair.co.uk/
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. 19-01-2018, 03:43 PM #9
    le frelon
    le frelon is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    epsom surrey
    Posts
    254
    That looks remarkably like the sample for the Army Intelligence Unit design for a fast entry parachute canopy.

    Carl
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. 20-01-2018, 02:00 AM #10
    DCL_dave's Avatar
    DCL_dave
    DCL_dave is offline I Like Gingers Best
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    weymouth
    Posts
    2,994
    Gentlemen, I'm sold out for now but will have more leather off-cuts asap...so will try to fullfill all requests for "wrist bands" and "archery braces" (...and I do agree, string rash is a bitch) "Cannon viewers" and medievil "war gussets" for re-enactments, or in the case of the latest sales/enquiries "whack-A-mole play mats" and "rapid descenters"...please could you stop PM'ing me as my inbox is full!...thank you.

    blah blah
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. 20-01-2018, 02:28 AM #11
    Rickenbacker's Avatar
    Rickenbacker
    Rickenbacker is offline Admin Team
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Monmouth, Land of Wales.
    Posts
    14,441
    "Cannon viewer" That's a blast from the past, for sure. Was he the fat **** in a wheelchair?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. 20-01-2018, 02:35 AM #12
    DCL_dave's Avatar
    DCL_dave
    DCL_dave is offline I Like Gingers Best
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    weymouth
    Posts
    2,994
    Quote Originally Posted by Rickenbacker View Post
    "Cannon viewer" That's a blast from the past, for sure. Was he the fat **** in a wheelchair?
    Nah, that was Ironside...and yes I did have to youtube for which one it was as I couldn't quite remember...but it turns out that it is also handy for Quincy too!
    blah blah
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  13. 20-01-2018, 02:40 AM #13
    Rickenbacker's Avatar
    Rickenbacker
    Rickenbacker is offline Admin Team
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Monmouth, Land of Wales.
    Posts
    14,441
    Quote Originally Posted by DCL_dave View Post
    Nah, that was Ironside...and yes I did have to youtube for which one it was as I couldn't quite remember...but it turns out that it is also handy for Quincy too!
    So I was half right!

    Quincy - Pervy old doctor with a nose you could hide under??
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  14. 20-01-2018, 09:43 AM #14
    ggggr's Avatar
    ggggr
    ggggr is offline part time super hero and seeker of justice
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Flintshire Ch6 sort of near bagillt
    Posts
    2,379
    Quote Originally Posted by DCL_dave View Post
    I'm hot for and me sales patter is flowing so...

    For sale...Gentlemen (and discerning ladies) I present to you a crafty opportunity with this new and improved "state of the arts" piece of 1/4" thick leather blank that has had a load of holes punched through it to make breech seals...but this off cut still has a multitude of potential uses...

    http://imageupload.co.uk/image/E1oR

    Wrist thing for drummery?...
    Arm brace for archery?...
    Arse paddle for paddling arses!
    War gusset for christ knows what!
    Cannon viewer - view everything as if it were part of the opening credits to 70's tv cop Cannon.

    Here are some testimonies received from happy customers!

    I made an arm brace protector for use in my hobby which is archery as I much prefer a heavier unventillated arse paddle.
    Mr P.I. Lowbiter, Hastings

    ...to test the theory that it would work well as an arse paddle, I snuck up on the missus and cracked her a good'un across the right arse cheek...she wheeled around and punched me square in the face!...I think our safe word is "do that again and I'll knock your effin lights out"
    Mr R Ingbit, Hull.

    I rivetted wings to mine to make for a stylish, ventilated and yet still discreetly armoured war gusset!
    Miss B.A.Talax, Grimbsy.

    I'm the drummer in a heavy metal band and so made cool wrist bands to drum with..I now look well-effin-hard...but seeing some of the comments makes me wish I made an arse paddle!...meh, thanks anyway man.
    S.Lacker, Dorset. - (this gentleman was a repeat customer)

    I'm forgetful...so I simply attach mine to my forehead with double sided tape when I want to remind myself that that great 70's cop show Cannon is about to start on the telly.
    Mr P Roper-Berk,
    I swear Dave was not this bad before the apple wine Cut a rectangular piece of that Dave, stick a battered handle on it and sell it on the bay as an "Antique paddle" . You can use the funds to but more leather for making washers.
    Cooler than Mace Windu with a FRO, walking into Members Only and saying "Bitches, be cool"
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  15. 20-01-2018, 05:03 PM #15
    DCL_dave's Avatar
    DCL_dave
    DCL_dave is offline I Like Gingers Best
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    weymouth
    Posts
    2,994
    Quote Originally Posted by ggggr View Post
    I swear Dave was not this bad before the apple wine Cut a rectangular piece of that Dave, stick a battered handle on it and sell it on the bay as an "Antique paddle" . You can use the funds to but more leather for making washers.
    Guy, I agree with you entirely...it's all your fault, and I must admit that it's nice to see someone own-up and take responsibilty for their actions!...

    Your apple smacker or "pommel te derriere" will be ready this week.

    blah blah
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules