Hang on in there, fellow "Glass Back Peeps"; salvation is at hand.
Now, I wasn't going to divulge any details of this just yet, but clinical trials of a new invention of mine have nearly reached a conclusion, with the results most encouraging...
The mighty BOING has come to rid us of all our pain and suffering. The system comprises of a strong yet flexible mainspring as the backbone with specially formulated Delrin disc replacements. Plus one other space age material, but I'm not at liberty to divulge any details of this soon to be patented wonder material.
Until its release, however, Doctor Zededius of Connetacult University has also formulated a stop gap back tuning wonder elixir. One hundred parts cod liver oil to seven parts fine grade moly powder again allied to a special and most top secret wonder ingredient. Taken orally once a day and gives effective relief, this will keep the pain and further degradation at bay until the new Boinger Back system can be made available with the permanent fix.
'Tis the power of The Boing!
And don't forget where you heard it first.