Southern hunters Series Round 2 - Buxted

[Enthusiast]

Looking forward to this, just to see if the rat has escaped the raft yet.

Bleedin' rat...it has gone for good I'm delighted to say

[MojoCrow]

Bleedin' rat...it has gone for good I'm delighted to say

Ahh, yes. I remember your thing with the rat like it was only yesterday......

Richard: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The Marshal does not respond.)
Richard: 'Ello, Miss?
Marshal: What do you mean "miss"?
Richard: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Marshal: I’m off for a burger.
Richard: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this rat what I shot at not one minute ago from this very peg.
Marshal: Oh yes, the, uh, the Rat on a raft...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Richard: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's not going over and I was on for a 60, that's what's wrong with it!
Marshal: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Richard: Look, matey, I know a dodgy target when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Marshal: No no he's not dodgy, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable rat target, the Nockover model, isn't it, ay? Beautiful target placement!
Richard: The beauty of the target placement don't enter into it. It's stone dead dodgy.
Marshal: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Richard: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the rat) 'Ello, Mister Roland Rat! I've got a lovely fresh pellet for you if you show...
(Marshal pulls the string)
Marshal: There, he moved!
Richard: No, he didn't, that was you pulling the string!
Marshal: I never!!
Richard: Yes, you did!
Marshal: I never, never did anything...
Richard: (yelling and throwing pellets repeatedly) 'ELLO RATTY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Storms over to the rat target and pokes it with a great big lump of a stick.)
Richard: Now that's what I call a dodgy target.
Marshal: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Richard: STUNNED?!?
Marshal: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was gonna fall down! Nockover rat targets stun easily, major.
Richard: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That rat is definitely dodgy, and when I shot it not one minute ago, I was on for a 60 and that plague ridden lump of scrap metal has robbed me of it.
Marshal: Well, I, uh, saw a splash. You sure you hit him?
Richard: SPLASH?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment someone else shoots him?
Marshal: The Nockover target prefers a clean hit to the kill zone. Splittin’ a pellet’s no good. Remarkable design the Nockover target, isn't it, squire? Lovely quality!
Richard: Look, I took the liberty of examining that rat when I poked it, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on that raft in the first place was that it had been screwed in place.
(pause)
Marshal: So?.....Well, o'course it was screwed there! If we hadn't screwed that rat down, the first decent shooter would’ve blown it off the raft and into the briney.
Richard: "DECENT SHOOTER"?!? Mate, I don’t like what you’re implying. I’ve shot that infernal rat before and he’s gone down.
Marshal: No no! That counts for nuffink. That was at another shoot. If you miss, you either splash or plate it. He’s a perfectly serviceable target.
Richard: 'E's not servicable! 'E's dodgy! He should be pulled! This rat should be no more! He should cease to be! E’ should be chucked in the bin! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! 'E’s imaginary metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down to the sewer and joined the choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-TARGET!!
(pause)
Marshal: Well, I'd better replace it, then........ Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shed, and uh, we're right out of targets.
Richard: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Richard: I got a slug.
(pause)
Richard: Pray, does it fall over when you shoot it in the kill zone?
Marshal: Nnnnot really. It’s a pellet.
Richard: WELL IT'S HARDLY A REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Marshal: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Richard: Well.
(pause)
Marshal: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Richard: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
Shooting Partner: I’ll put you down for a 59 then, shall I?

[airgun god]

very good ben













things must be slow over at stringtown !

[MojoCrow]

Just one of my days off. Enough time to murder a python sketch.

[simmmo]

Just one of my days off. Enough time to murder a python sketch.

Pity you never have a day off on setup day.

Monkey.

[MojoCrow]

Pity you never have a day off on setup day.

Monkey.

Yeah, the flaming boss might have to serve some customers/do some work.

[Enthusiast]

Ahh, yes. I remember your thing with the rat like it was only yesterday......

Richard: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The Marshal does not respond.)
Richard: 'Ello, Miss?
Marshal: What do you mean "miss"?
Richard: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Marshal: I’m off for a burger.
Richard: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this rat what I shot at not one minute ago from this very peg.
Marshal: Oh yes, the, uh, the Rat on a raft...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Richard: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's not going over and I was on for a 60, that's what's wrong with it!
Marshal: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Richard: Look, matey, I know a dodgy target when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Marshal: No no he's not dodgy, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable rat target, the Nockover model, isn't it, ay? Beautiful target placement!
Richard: The beauty of the target placement don't enter into it. It's stone dead dodgy.
Marshal: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Richard: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the rat) 'Ello, Mister Roland Rat! I've got a lovely fresh pellet for you if you show...
(Marshal pulls the string)
Marshal: There, he moved!
Richard: No, he didn't, that was you pulling the string!
Marshal: I never!!
Richard: Yes, you did!
Marshal: I never, never did anything...
Richard: (yelling and throwing pellets repeatedly) 'ELLO RATTY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Storms over to the rat target and pokes it with a great big lump of a stick.)
Richard: Now that's what I call a dodgy target.
Marshal: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Richard: STUNNED?!?
Marshal: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was gonna fall down! Nockover rat targets stun easily, major.
Richard: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That rat is definitely dodgy, and when I shot it not one minute ago, I was on for a 60 and that plague ridden lump of scrap metal has robbed me of it.
Marshal: Well, I, uh, saw a splash. You sure you hit him?
Richard: SPLASH?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment someone else shoots him?
Marshal: The Nockover target prefers a clean hit to the kill zone. Splittin’ a pellet’s no good. Remarkable design the Nockover target, isn't it, squire? Lovely quality!
Richard: Look, I took the liberty of examining that rat when I poked it, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on that raft in the first place was that it had been screwed in place.
(pause)
Marshal: So?.....Well, o'course it was screwed there! If we hadn't screwed that rat down, the first decent shooter would’ve blown it off the raft and into the briney.
Richard: "DECENT SHOOTER"?!? Mate, I don’t like what you’re implying. I’ve shot that infernal rat before and he’s gone down.
Marshal: No no! That counts for nuffink. That was at another shoot. If you miss, you either splash or plate it. He’s a perfectly serviceable target.
Richard: 'E's not servicable! 'E's dodgy! He should be pulled! This rat should be no more! He should cease to be! E’ should be chucked in the bin! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! 'E’s imaginary metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down to the sewer and joined the choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-TARGET!!
(pause)
Marshal: Well, I'd better replace it, then........ Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shed, and uh, we're right out of targets.
Richard: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Richard: I got a slug.
(pause)
Richard: Pray, does it fall over when you shoot it in the kill zone?
Marshal: Nnnnot really. It’s a pellet.
Richard: WELL IT'S HARDLY A REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Marshal: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Richard: Well.
(pause)
Marshal: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Richard: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
Shooting Partner: I’ll put you down for a 59 then, shall I?

Your Mother was a hamster...

[MojoCrow]

Your Mother was a hamster...

I think you'll find that my mother was a Siberian hamster.

[Pontiac]

I think you'll find that my mother was a Siberian hamster.

I thought your mother was a rude boy hamster innit

[Alegazmoz]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Huh!

Your Mother was a hamster...

Was that the punch-line?

arf!

[Kingplinker]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Huh!



Was that the punch-line?

arf!

... and your father smells of elderberries . Not Richards father although I don't know that for certain ???

[Alegazmoz]

... and your father smells of elderberries . Not Richards father although I don't know that for certain ???

I hope yours is well . I noticed you too, were cultivating the aroma of pi$$ and mints about your person, last time we met.

Bon chance, mon petit fleur.
arf!

[simmmo]

Bleedin' rat...it has gone for good I'm delighted to say

?????????????If you need to know the answer its always best to ask the Monkey not the Organ Grinders.

[Alegazmoz]

If you need to know the answer its always best to ask the Monkey not the Organ Grinders.

I have an idea .. you might like it.

[simmmo]

I have an idea .. you might like it.

I have an idea you might implement it.

Andy